Callan's Kicks

00:17 The eyes of the world were on Ireland. Is the sort of guff, we say, to big up the hot air fest that this making-up summit brought to the capital. The EPC, which looks like the word epic, but is missing something because it's just a gathering of hollow men centrists with the precise mission to ensure absolutely no outcome. As you can imagine, this is Treeshock Miho Martin's dream come true. 00:41 In terms of this is what I'm best at in life, avoiding making any decisions. It's been my whole career. One postponed decision every 15 years, if even. We don't even have to commission a report and hide it down the back of a radiator or nothing. 00:53 I can't believe my look. Oh, Mark Carney's here. Look at Mark Carney's skin. There's a man who eats his sardines every morning. 00:58 And of course, in 1990, here at Taoiseach, Charles Hawhey had to negotiate the single currency. 01:04 I couldn't be dealing with that. It's all it all. It's not good for the chakra, that sort of stress. Sure, I had to commission 14 reports, gather a citizens' assembly and a phone call with NATO just to decide on the starter for tonight's dinner. Right. I used a magic eight ball in the end in terms of... 01:19 But while the Taoiseach was milling with Euronews headliners, thornish to Simon Harris, a man who spent his entire life trying to get into the photograph, was left holding the codes. Thank you for asking, and of course I'm doing a very important job here today. I've been asked to check that all the name badges are facing the right direction. I also have plenipotentiary powers over the cloakroom, the umbrellas, and counting the teaspoons after the dinner. So very, very, very. 01:45 Meanwhile, the floposition used the week to attack the government on housing. 01:49 Rory Hearn breaking away from the Social Democrat slumber party to say passionate things. 01:55 I just pointed out to the Taoiseach in this country that he doesn't get worked up about housing, about evictions. Fellas sleeping in their cars. And he knows well when a lad from Waterford is worked up from the way that I do say housing with a look of blood upon me brow. 02:08 The outbreak of such lesser spotted passion for the left alarmed the rest of the opposition like Mary Lou MacDonald. 02:15 But first of all, big up to Rory the Tory Hunter, but like three years out from an election? 02:20 Really? I think it's best we don't bother until at least six months out. Now, if you'd excuse me, I need to get a refund on my Skims advent calendar, which is the only level of outrage I can muster. At a time when the government is hosing down unions with free cash. Back at the summit, the British Prime Minister Andy Burnham arrived. Having failed to make any progress on the war in Ukraine or the future of the continent, he decided to tackle the issues that really matter. 02:46 Thank you, Barry, for far too long at these summit dinners. They've put out too many bread rolls on side plate. I don't need a choice of three. I'm from the north, me. Sourdough and summit salty and bitter will do. And the menus. Sixteen words to describe a piece of fish. It's a lump of cod, that is. And I'm having me tea, not me dinner. So get the fiddles out and let's be having a stomp on the sawdust. 03:11 As disgruntled Dubliners filled the airways about how hard it was to get into the city to enjoy the only two days there were Gardaí on patrol, the Taoiseach was again trying to justify the whole shallow shebang. Well, very significant progress has been made on a range of issues. 03:26 We've established Friedrich Mertz is indeed the tallest of us and he's the leader with the highest gristle-to-wrinkle ratio. Oh, here's Selinsky. 03:34 I am very grateful to Ireland for these talks. You have given us many statements. Thank you. Solidarity statements. Strongly worded statements. Very good. Only statements because you have military that could be defeated by school sports day in Kiev. 03:48 It's no good, Mikhail. It is Mikhail. Stop the blackounding now. Come on. 03:52 Where are the drones? Where's action? Putin is not going to stop because you have frowny face and make cups of tea. Well, well, well. Jesus, enough with the cups of tea. 04:01 What? You must have blathered the size of Donbass. I do, I do. It is me Kegel exercises at dawn every morning. 04:07 I have the strongest pelvic floor and monster. God, I'm having such a lovely day. 04:11 Now where the hell is my coat? I asked two hours ago. Very incompetent, cloakroom. What moron is in... Yes, yes, here it is. Have some patience. You're taking it at very high numbers. Some of us are not good with numbers. Now, here you go. The pink coat, wasn't it? 04:23 Is black, you idiot? I only wear black. No wonder you can't close the Russian metals plant in limerick, you leprechaun. 04:31 That's unfair. Well, if you have any complaints, sir, my name is Patrick O'Donovan. 04:36 And so the European Political Community Summit has been a huge success in the sense that it was instantly forgettable. 04:43 One more thing, our kid. We've got to come together to end the practice of serving still and sparkling water in near-identical bottles. For too long... Stop this now. 04:54 Sorry, I said no decisions will be made here. Sit down, Andy, and eat your cork watercress in the name of God. Barry Linehan. 04:59 At least the lanyards were lovely. RTE News. 05:02 What's the point of radishes? They've got no flavour. 05:11 Ho, ho, ho, ho. It's U2 Album Week. 05:14 Dave Fanning joins me. Thanks, yeah, Marty. We're also joined by Paul Hewson, a.k.a. Bono. All right. 05:19 Aha! Crumple's still skin himself. Oh, behave, Marty. Great to see you, Bono. 05:24 Where the hell have you been, though, man? 05:25 Listening, Dave. 05:26 Really listening to the suffering of humanity. 05:30 Took you years to speak up for Gaza, though. Some help you've been. Well, I was in the south of France for the first two years, so... Of course, it's all about speaking truth to power. 05:38 You're still at it, are you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 05:40 Act. Activism art is like an overcrowded marketplace. 05:44 You can't throw a stone without hitting a young fella in a balaclava. Yeah, yeah. Calling for a revolution. 05:50 That's kneecap across the rap, hip-hop, ask well, get raved till you gale, sort of post-neo, ultra-funk, bull-boy, prog-punk, yeah? You what? 05:57 I remember when you could change the world just by wearing sunglasses inside. 06:02 Now it's balaclavas. Calm down. The album is Carnival de Luz, finding light in a world of darkness. Cheers, Bonner. You'll have us all depressed. 06:09 We're not releasing songs anymore, Marty. No? We're releasing solutions. 06:14 So you used to be a band. Now you sound more like a censure. 06:17 There's a song called Silencio. Yeah, yeah, go on. It's about the importance of shh. 06:24 in an increasingly noisy world lovely and will you be observing that philosophy yourself like a Cunis Hewson no I will not now a few critics have accused Yabano of vague spiritual platitudes that sound terribly profound without actually meaning anything ouch well that's a beautiful thing to say thank you scribes yeah he's impervious now Holzier and Jesse Buckley have recorded a new version of Fairy Tale of New York that's right on a scale of Ronan Keating to Richie Cavanaugh throwing up in a bucket how bad is it 06:52 Shane McGowan sounded like he actually spent Christmas Eve in the drunk tank. Yeah, fair. 06:57 Hosier sounds like he'd spend it in a spa, drinking green tea. 07:02 Aunt Jessie, that's an awful lot of clean, young talent for a song usually sung by two pissed uncles outside a chipper. 07:07 Yeah! 07:08 Now, with the next James Bond film in the headlines, any chance of you two writing another theme? 07:12 Well, they've handed James Bond over to Amazon and we do know a thing or two about giving art to tech villains. 07:19 Oh yes, the Apple auto album lured above. 07:21 But we've learned our lesson, we're not forcing this album on people for free. Oh God. It's 90 quid on vinyl. 07:29 You're welcome! 07:31 Anyway, 50 years of you two, half a century, fair play, man. We're just four lads from Dublin, Ireland, with nothing but a dream to fight the establishment. 07:41 And 50 years later, you've become the first rebel movement to have its own wealth management division. 07:48 Wow, yeah. 07:49 I'm going to make you pay for that. 07:52 Oh, dear. 08:05 Whoa, it's been a hell of a week, Secretary Pete. Sure was. I'm just sad for my friend in Navidia. So many of my friends cheat on their wives. Makes you wonder, why are those wives no good? Jensen Wang, he was a good man. 08:18 Had to resign. All those affairs, he was in an invidious position. 08:21 Who says AI takes away the human experience now? Right. Mr. Wang was just a man guided by his Wang. Two affairs, wow. 08:29 Where does he get the time? 08:30 There's no way he did anything for that Chinese spy, by the way. He just asked me to relax the chips ban on China, give me $20 million for the ballroom. I don't see anything wrong with that. Pretty crazy the spy was also called Huang. Well, two Huangs don't make a ride, that's for sure, that's for sure. What about you, Pete? Tough couple of days, huh? Mr. President, don't worry. I was totally loyal to you, dude. Well, that's good to know. My new chief of staff, Stephen Miller, he'll be doing the blood oaths in the Rose Garden slash clan circle at midnight. 09:00 I dodged impeachment for the illegal wards, man. I just told him I was following orders. 09:04 That sounds familiar from somewhere. Where do I? 09:06 And that Iran was all your decision, my liege, my savant of ill doings. Wait! 09:11 People hate the war, Pete. That's the reason I... You all lost the midterms. You're the secretary of war, last I heard. It's all on you. That's a title that you gave me, sir, respectfully. I don't know how long you can stay on kegs, Brett. What? JD says the war was the reason the Republicans' ass was handed to them. Well, that and all the corruption... What are you talking about? There was no corruption. We drained the swamp. We cleaned up after the Biden crime family. The worst. Voters said it, man. Corruption and how you made $3 billion from crypto deals with Emiratis. 09:42 What would you do? That's nothing to do with me. If the Bidens were responsible, we'd be all like, lock them up, man. Wrong. The difference between me and Crooked Joe is that I don't know anything about the World Liberty Financial thing that's made me a billionaire. 09:57 Wait, are you saying Sleepy Joe Biden is more perceptive and sentient than you? 10:01 You are right now? He was the worst president in history, and as all the voters have said, what he did to the reflecting pool, the number one issue in America, was a total disaster for our country. Number one issue? Come on, man. Well, that and the disgraceful shortage of space for white tie ballroom dancing. I think the pool and the need for a $600 million dance floor really got the vote out this year. A lot of people are saying, 10:26 Come on, Mr. President. 10:27 It was the war and what it did to Diesel, man. Well, I don't know. Stephen Miller is going to fix everything. You'll see. Miller is the slimy, scary dude who gives Freddy Krueger nightmares, and this is coming from me, a glorified tub of hair gel in a suit. God, I hate myself. Anyway, I got to focus, Pete, on what truly matters. Why were you on 60 Minutes talking about hell, sir? 10:47 Are you okay? 10:48 Because I look at my reflecting pool and a hideous figure looks back. I wish there was some sort of Greek tragedy to teach some kind of moral lesson. Oh, my God. But I don't got time to read. I'm too busy forcing NDAs on anyone who's ever seen my pee-pee. Anyone? 11:01 Well, I haven't seen it, sir, I swear. 11:03 Even I didn't have to sign one. I haven't seen it since the 70s. Wow. That's why I spent $20 million on the reflecting pool, so that if I walked through it on a sunny day, I thought I'd get to see my pee-pee one last time before the inevitable. Your death? 11:19 What? No, the algae. 11:20 So much algae. Right. The algaes, they ruin everything. 11:24 Well, maybe you can hang out with your friend Huang now that he's got lots of free time on his hands. 11:29 No, I'm never going to speak to him again. That's not how friendship works, Pete. No? Once they're all used up, you just drop them for the next tech bro queen. Wow. In a leather jacket. It's pretty cold, man. Yeah. Even by your standards. That's life. 11:47 Good afternoon, Minister Burke. My name is Quinton. 11:49 Or should we say double minister now that you've taken over poor Patrick's portfolio? 11:54 Yeah, how he is. Yeah, you're the spin, lads. Is that right? We are the best special advisors, man. Oh, that's right. 11:59 And we cost a fortune. That's why they call us Spadfab. 12:02 We're civil servants too, so we're getting that 11% pay rise, which is hilarious We're here to help you begin your transition from Minister for Enterprise Which is data centres Trade Also data centres Tourism Still data centres And employment Ah, the one thing data centres don't provide, shite 12:18 And now adding you as minister for arts, culture, sports, communications, brunches, art installations on the side of the motorway. Making sure NGOs don't make any more ads that infuriate grannies. And of course, phone call denial. Sorry now, did you say brunch? I'm the minister for brunch. Yes, under an obscure statute, you're the minister for brunches like the ice cream. They need you to make a budget for the amount of little beige and pink bits that go on a brunch. The government is steadily decreasing it each year and people are starting to notice. 12:44 And you're telling me that's a problem I need to solve as well? 12:47 Actually, given the size of your new brief, we've calculated that 67% of all the government's problems are now yours alone to solve. 12:53 Jeez, but I can't be doing that. I'm too busy quietly turning theatres into AI data centres in the dead of night and hoping nobody notices the buzzing sounds and the depletion of lakes needed to keep the data centres cool. 13:03 recommend you start calling them data centres because you using the American data in a Mullingar accent is such a dead giveaway that you've been listening to Silicon Valley bro lobbyists too hard. 13:13 Right, so what we need to do is to come up with a snappier name then so that they sound better than they are. 13:18 We keep I'm telling you, there are no positives for data centres. What? Remember, you commissioned a whole report to say how good they are, but then realise they're like if pylons had a baby with a waste incinerator. Toads, the original report was so toxic you still haven't released it, only the sexed-up version, and it still made data centres sound like a Nordic fairy tale monster coming to eat all medium-sized towns' water and electricity. Dear, dear. 13:42 What have we called them cloud factories? 13:44 Everyone knows about data centres now, man. They're not a cloud and Vaporise H2O only reinforces the vampire squid feeding on local water supplies image. Solve. Plus, you have so many other toys in your many portfolios. 13:57 Well, I am busy crushing the statutory living wage, blocking the sick pay increases and keeping young workers on sub-minimum wages for longer. Check, check. Which I suppose all makes me feel more American, I suppose. That's the idea. 14:08 It also fits quite well with Fine Gael's efforts to return to its core identity, that dead-behind-the-eyes cruelty that Leo Varadkar espoused so well. Until he got so bored being mean, he just resigned early one morning. 14:19 Early? He didn't announce it till half past eleven that day. Oh, that was early for Leo when he was thish, believe you me. Oh gosh, yeah. Jez, you don't hear tell of him anymore. 14:27 He must be in Silicon Valley now or at least stand up for things like, I don't know, Inheritance Tax Avoidance Trust, I'd say. Yeah. 14:33 He just headlined a wellness retreat for elderly gay men who juice-dyed in Ibiza desperately trying to forget all the things they witnessed at circuit parties. 14:40 My Jesus. So sad. I never knew there was worse faiths than still being stuck in a government that's less popular than a vape shop next to a creche. 14:50 Here's the deal, folks. It's great to be here and where the hell am I? Trinity College Dublin. Heck, I know this is a big surprise. 14:59 I can tell you no one's more surprised than Uncle Joe here. I went into the gosh darn room to look for me spectacles. In regard of bejesus, I woke up in Ireland. Ha! Why does everyone here look like a bowl of porridge with two eyes poking out? Be the hokey moley cabbage banshees. 15:20 Where was I? Hello, Mr. President. Is everything okay? Are you... You scared the creeping bejeepers out of me. Who were you talking to inside here? The wonderful people of Ireland. That is a court-rack, Joe. What? We're in the green room. Oh, wowee. Dear or dear. Even the rooms are green in Bonnie Banshakes, Ireland. Who are you? Some sort of human celebrant. I'm the president, Catherine Conley. No way, man. I'm the president. Am I? Ni ha. It's Misha Antochtran. Bless you. 15:50 You could do it a hanky. I'm the president, I'm telling you. Of what? Of Ireland, for God's sake. Will knock me sideways with a farting feather. Why haven't I heard of you? Sorry, now, I have worked hard to avoid the media industrial complex and conductor presidency so well that for an entire year, nobody has noticed me the whole time. I'm like the hole in the ozone layer, except it's a vacuum inciting the aris. I did that at a G8 summit one time. I was debating Russian sanctions with a hand dryer I thought was President Macron for two and a half days. 16:21 No one even knew I missed the family photo. Listen now, please, don't tell anyone that I was here. Oh, I won't remember any of this in two and a half minutes. Good. Wait, you're a president? Yes. Whatever happened to the little fella with the hair like a startled dandelion? No, his term ended. Oh, God rest his soul, the thundering little whore. Oh, he's still alive. In fact, he gets more coverage than I do the meddling pest. Well, if he's gone, there must be a vacancy. Vacancy is the theme of my presidency. Maybe I'll run for president of Erin. Please now know you have to be an Irish citizen. 16:53 I got more Irish blood in me than a black pudding. My great-great-great-grandpappy was as male as a tinker's curse. Anyway, you're far too tainted with your support for the warmongering. What a bunch of malarkey. It's true. The pot-jean-swilling buckaroos of Ireland loved me. They were outside chanting, Genius Joe! Genius Joe! Genius Joe! As I came in. They were chanting genocide, Joe. Genocide. 17:15 No, no, no. 17:16 Where? Where was it? Mr. President? Finally be... Finally be in Medicare. 17:24 And he's out. I'd better slip away before I get any attention. I don't want that. I've only got six years of creaking silence left to fill now. 17:33 Go nyeirí lat. Joe Cudlockthoch. 17:42 All right. 17:43 Gordie of the rank and or file is the most important event of your policing career. Gardner Geraldine. 17:48 This will require an operation not seen in modern times. 17:53 We'll have the Aqua unit, Air unit, Canine unit, Tactical cone placement unit, Casual leaning on a bollard unit, Unit of measurement unit and the Unitard unit on active duty this week. 18:03 We will also be acting undercover. I personally will be on patrol as a decoy Molly Malone. 18:08 Yeah, we all know what the Italian diplomats are like at these summits. 18:12 Gorda Fergal with the hair will be performing at the Three Arena all week under the guise as a Niall Horan personage. We all know the ballad Slow Hands is a coded song about Gorda operations. 18:23 Garda Sullivan, I'm going to need you to act as a sniper. Oh, do we get guns, miss? What is this? The United States of America? 18:30 If you see any strange carry-on from up there, I want you to shout things like, Ah, lads, or don't be at it. No guns. You will have a potato gun, Sullivan, but it'll be loaded with blanks. Blanks? Smash. Now, be on the lookout for trouble. 18:43 Zero tolerance for the worst offenders. Those mothers against genocide types and people peacefully trying to drink wine outdoors... 18:50 Pepper spray the lot of them. Gurriers and scooters? 18:52 Negative. Flee for your lives upon sight. We're not paid enough for that. 18:56 The convention centre is near the famine ship The Genie Janston. Gord O'Brien, I need you on that boat. Remember to look haunted and draw from personal experience if you have to. 19:06 I think at the time I went to Sentra and all they had left were southern fried chicken fillets. No way. Just order in more plain or spicy. No one even requests southern fried. 19:14 Jesus. I would also like to take this moment to thank our colleagues from the PSNI for assisting us with this operation. Oh yes. 19:20 I brought the big hose for the water cannon. Thank you, Constable. And we won't be asking what side of the national question you're on. Certainly not. Because his name is Fitzcarson Campbell Fodrig Wilson. You can't tell that. 19:33 Just point us towards the hydrants and we'll do the rest, Gorda. 19:36 Yes, yes. Just as soon as we received the formal nod from Ishka Ehren that the hosepipe band has been lifted. What kind of unit are yous running here? It is not our fault. The faxes have been very slow coming through. Sorry. 19:49 Members, we have 35,000 hot dinners ready. This is without question the largest, most mahoose of Goujon's operation in the history of the state. 19:57 Correct. I actually prefer jambons. 20:00 No insubordination, Sullivan. There are 50 world leaders in town. Show some respect. I don't want to hear about a single meal going to waste. Not one boot full of gravy. Not one canteen of ketchup. It is your solemn goujon duty. Do I make myself clear? Sir, yes! 20:15 There is also the threat of further fuel protests. That's only OK if they're blocking commuters and elderly citizens going for hospital appointments. It will not be tolerated when it involves Eurocrats, Bidens and a Canadian from Mayo trying to make their essential long journey from the Marion Hotel to the National Gallery. 20:33 That's why 100 of our brightest and best will be on guard to surround the overpriced bike shed and the dead zoo renovation shambles. 20:40 in order to prevent the dignitaries catching sight of anything that shows we can't run a country. Now let's get those goujons before RTE wets itself, evacuates to stand around looking at four stories of glass in a bomb scare and spoils our overtime once again. Dismissed. 21:01 Good to see you. 21:02 Welcome, everyone. I thought it would be helpful to have a post-ardash pow-wow. Bang, bang. I went grand tonnish. Thank you, thank you. 21:08 You didn't look down the lens once. 21:10 And if I may say so myself, I think the rebrand of my party has been a total success. Say goodbye to the old Fine Gael. Say hello to the new cool kids on the block, block, block. 21:19 I don't know if you did anything that was different, Minister. 21:22 It's Cody. And we changed the logo, Jennifer. Did you not notice? They call it flat design. It's more monotone, more dreary, more us. Yes, I love it, Simon. Thank you, Helen. Someone's grateful. But you removed the star, the symbol of our place in Europe. Well, allow me to be blunt. We did some polling and we found that people associate stars with something like ambition, talent and excellence and that's just not us. Look at Helen there. 21:45 And this new slogan, an Ireland alive with possibilities, what does that even mean? It's so radical. 21:50 Well, it means my party is a political party in Ireland. Most of our voters will be alive for the next five years at least. Unless they irresponsibly visit a hospital. And we recognise that some things are possible. Like affordable housing. Well, no, not that, Peter. 22:06 How did you come up with our new priority policy? It's so good. 22:10 Please. I thought long and hard about what the average voter wanted. Childcare for 200 euro a month. Renting a home that doesn't make them feel like there's no future. Buses that show up. Gordie that aren't just for Euro summits. And I realised... That's all too hard so let's just demonise people on the dole too long. Literally no one thinks this is the problem. 22:28 I haven't heard a single person say it like ever. 22:31 There are so few of them it barely costs anything. Plus we are kind of close to full employment. Not close enough Minister Richmond. Stop frowning. 22:39 I can't. 22:40 Look, there's a handful of undesirables living at large out there on taxpayers' money and I'm going to punish them all. 22:45 Bang, bang. 22:46 It's a maximum of what? 12,000 euro a year? That's nearly half a TD's expenses per year. Disgraceful. 22:53 Anyway, let's focus on the highlight of the Ardash. Me standing in a college shouting, snorting a line of coke. That was my finest moment. I even clipped it for my socials. That was the bang, bang line. Everyone knows who I was talking about. Oh yes, you all know. 23:06 I just worry we've now vision as a party. 23:08 Look it, we changed the font of the logo. Massive changes, major reforms. 23:11 It's just a bit confusing the direction, you know, like in just 10 years you went from pro-life to pro-choice. Yes. Then went woke online for a bit. Then anti-immigration bro-light. I mean, your stances tend to bro-yo. There is the argument, what does Fine Gael stand for? Precisely. 23:26 It stands for whatever trend is hot right now. We are the 6-7, the get-ready-with-me tradwives of Irish politics. Have you got a problem with that, Jennifer? 23:33 No, Simon. By all means, continue. It'll make it all the easier for me to look uber-competent when you faceplant from pursuing reheated Leo cruelties as Thiech next year. 23:42 Well, you'll be too busy locked in a battle with that hospital in Cork. 23:45 I'm already winning my battle with CUH. What? How? I don't really know myself. 23:50 I should be toast by now, but I just sashay through every crisis. 23:54 Meeting dismissed. 23:55 I have to make my way over to play second fiddle at this summit. Michal gets all the good countries. I'm going to be stuck next to Slovakia and Hungary. And it turns out the Irish for Hungary isn't ontocrous. 24:16 You know, maybe if we sold the naming rights for Montrose, we wouldn't be in this mess. 24:20 Des, please, when the red on-air light is switched on, that means we're on air. I'm just saying, Marty, we are pretty desperate. What? The Timu RTE campus, no? Anyway, Galway GAA this week announced a seven-year partnership deal to rename their iconic Pierce Stadium. In a seeming attempt to outboring Kilkenny's partnership with UPMC for Nolan Park, they've struck a deal with ECC Timber Products. Who make pallets and fences. God almighty, soccer gets named after billionaire oil shakes. GAA is to make do with being named after things that give you splinters. 24:51 I love ECC timber products. Marty's all in favour of whatever gives you wood. Oh yeah! And I'm not sure it's the best idea for Galway, who keep getting smashed in semi-finals, to be associated with timber. 25:04 What? What with its connotations of it being the thing you yell when something comes crashing to the ground. 25:08 Ha! It'd probably be a more fitting partnership for the likes of Manchester United in that regard. 25:13 Holy Moses. 25:14 That's right. They've sacked Michael Carrick after realising that being a club legend isn't actually enough to steer you to success when the club legend is all the personality of a papier-mâché goose that's been left out in the rain. I remember before he was married he was doing a line with a Leitrim girl called Shannon. 25:30 Seriously? 25:30 That's right. They used to say, look, Michael Carrick on Shannon. Yeah. Oh, yes. In recent years, Parky Cueve has become super value, Parky Cueve. There's bored Nimona O'Connor Park in Offaly and, of course, the great Kingspan Breffney in the fine county of Cavan. 25:46 Poor Kingspan. They'll be bled dry by that lot, I can tell you. 25:49 But no joy yet for Markovitch Park in Sligo. Or St Chirnarch's Park in Cloness, County Monaghan. How about Cheerios Cheerios Park? 25:59 Very good. And the rent pressure zone Markovic Park. What? 26:03 And of course Garth Brooks will be visiting the ECC Pears Stadium next year as part of his tour of Ireland's GEA stadiums. 26:10 He sold out Belfast three times in less than five minutes. 26:14 Donegal is going to be emptier than Dole Day and Derry. It's great to see it though. Wow. Irish people just adore Garth Brooks. Over 40,000 at every gig, which is just as wild, because if you decided to do a crowd surf, you'd nearly need that many just to hold them up by the haunches. Oh, it does. 26:30 The heft of them. 26:31 Every time he bends down to tie his shoelaces, somebody shouts, Timber! 26:35 Nice. See you, Bertie.